To Have a Coach or Not Have a Coach? Is That a Question?

Andy Stanley, Founder and Senior Pastor of North Point Ministries.

To all our highly valued clients and acquaintances:

Happy April and Welcome to Your 2^nd Quarter for 2023.

A few opening questions:

Are you living your dreams for 2023?
If not, why not? What are you waiting for?
Who and what might help make it happen?
Are you experiencing inspirational energy as you live life?
Are you happy with your current pace of accomplishment?

One of the best pieces of advice that I have received in recent years is that if I keep thinking or saying that I’m going to do something and it doesn’t get done, get help.

One of my operating principles has become to take on commitments only when I am in active partnership with at least one person who is equally or more committed and equally or more capable. I learned that lesson big time when I worked in New York City.

Years ago, someone once asked me if I had any mentors. After a few minutes, I told her that I think I have about 20. I quickly verbalized a list – some I paid, some I bartered with, and some I studied their lives and work via books, seminars, and workshops.

You might ask, why so many mentoring relationships and for what purposes? To name a few, how about for personal development, health, relationships, career development, financial management, business marketing, coaching, parenting, family leadership, philanthropic and community service initiatives? When I was in my youth, I heard that “if you can beat ‘em, join ‘em”. Find ways to invest your time with the best and brightest.

We become our reference groups. Bestselling author and international leadership coach Marshall Goldsmith was once asked, how do you become a thought leader? His response?? Spend time with other thought leaders. He used to carry famed Peter Drucker’s briefcase and Peter eventually put him in charge of his Leadership Institute.

If what’s happening with your most important commitments is that it’s not happening, you may want to consider changing it up with better support. Set up win-win meetings with people with whom you may be able to get better support. What gets scheduled, gets done. Who can you reach out to that would best be put on your own schedule?

Every athlete in the Olympics has their “eyes on the prize” for the Gold Medal.

Do these Olympic athletes train like crazy just to win a silver or bronze medal?? While that would be an extraordinary accomplishment for most of us, I doubt if it’s their intent.

Regardless of what each individual athlete’s motivation might be, they all have multiple coaches to help optimize their performance, to even qualify to participate in the games.

Here’s 2 mins of comic perspective from Jerry Seinfeld about that phenomenon.

In terms of having a competitive attitude, we suggest beating your own best.

In that light, I think that we are best served by taking all the help that we can get.

In the last 9 months, I had unplanned events occurring out of the blue. This included an emergency hospitalization, followed by surgery; the rapid loss of a family member to an extremely rare form of cancer; and the sudden loss of one of my six younger brothers (who I thought was the healthiest of us all) to massive GI bleed. This all gave me pause.

Maybe you have had even more challenging circumstances that you had to address, not only in recent years, but also throughout your life. To that end, your self-care is priority.

Set yourself up to be who and where you haven’t yet been.

For those who find themselves unsure about their path forward or are still uncommitted, one question you may want to ask yourself is: “What if I don’t do any or all of this?? How is that likely to turn out for me? Am I ok with that?” The choice is now yours to make.

Healthy Communities and Supportive Networks Can Sustain and Empower Us

If you want to be up to big things in your life – things that will both inspire you and will challenge you, do not do it alone. Work with people and communities who are equally or more committed, determined, capable, creative, innovative, alive, effective, and fulfilled.

What learning communities or associations can you participate with on a regular basis to reinvigorate/revitalize yourself as you stay abreast of all that is important for your life?

Many people tell me that “life’s curve balls” can be a time to revisit what really matters.

Where can you get support? Who can you support? Could it be a time for new choices? Are you getting and giving all the help you can get and give? What is next for you now?

Creating relationship environments of support can contribute tremendously to your resiliency. As you define and optimize your support systems, you can put yourself in a much better position to have even greater momentum to keep moving yourself forward.

Take time to jot down any ideas that may help Build Your Own Support System

As we all consider what’s possible for our lives, here’s a little-known example of a daughter of immigrant parents. Centenarian Deborah Szekely, the co-founder of support community, Rancho la Puerta, is about to turn 102 in May. She is still active, vibrant, and incredibly sharp. When asked what her secret is, she said, “I search out the positive and whatever the situation, I always do the right thing.” Their motto has always been “Siempre Mejor,” which means “Always Better.” Deborah, believes this must also mean “Always Changing.” Their Ranch’s history and culture reflects this, from the ground up.

Whatever you choose to do, it will take Self-Mastery and Self-Discipline

I thought that this recently published (and brief) article was helpful. “How to Practice Self-Discipline – Building the life you want begins with yourself.” by Barbara Danza.

Lastly, along these lines, here is a page titled STRENGTHEN YOUR OWN PERSONAL FOUNDATION UNTIL IT IS ROCK SOLID. You need a strong foundation if you wish to accomplish a lot in life, just as a skyscraper needs a deeper foundation than a home. The higher one goes, the more they need the stability that a foundation affords. If you are building a great life, you want it to be strong enough to handle the surprises and problems that you encounter. With a strong Personal Foundation, you can weather almost any personal or business storm. A 2–3-year process, with a supportive coach.